Our 2 and 1/2 year old has been a bit of a legend in the potty training department (don't get me wrong - there's definitely some messy tales to be told). I've put this down, partially to his chilled back and happy to sit still on the potty and watch TV approach, but mostly his very early fascination with playing with his todger!
When he was only just 1 he would sit on his potty and fiddle with his jimmy riddle for ages - or at least an entire episode of Backyardigans. That was before he could alight from the potty on his own accord. Once he had that trick mastered, he gave his willy a break for a while (along with the potty training), except for an occasional meddle at bathtime.
Recently, however, the young fella is back on the game. We picked the potty training back up and went cold turkey on his diapers just before his second birthday. It worked a treat - but not without a whole lot of fun and mishaps in the bargain - and I guess not long afterwards, his penis started earning a lot more of his attention once again.
In the past I'd heard other parents refer to their kiddies' bits as Penis or Vagina, and I'd shuddered at the proper terminology. I hadn't quite decided on what I was planning on calling his, when my son caught me off guard one evening with ''Momma this?'' while he pointed questioningly at his willy - and 'willy' is what I wish I'd said! But instead I said very formerly, "It's your penis.''
Now he's only 2 1/2 and he's still gathering his speech together, but this was one word that he grasped straight away, and with clear and precise enunciation he repeated ''penis!''. To which I was pretty taken aback! Then he asked ''Mommy penis?". So I told him, no, Mummy doesn't have a penis. Then he asked about Daddy's penis, and baby's penis.. and so forth until he'd listed every other person he could think of. It feels pretty weird talking to your son about Granddad's penis, and Grandma's lack thereof, and in true 'me' style (the childish me that laughs at farts) I couldn't help but laugh throughout the whole dialogue! No wonder he's so entertained with his penis - among other reasons!
Tonight; however, he took the biscuit! Our youngest had carried a carrot stick into the bath with him and dropped it into the bubbles, so eventually our eldest found it and started chomping away. He'd already refused his own carrot stick , so it didn't surprise me when he spit out a mouthful of big carrot chunks into the water. I retrieved the carrot stick from the little monkey, and they both continued playing away, until our big kid spotted something orange in the bottom of the water.
He started signing fish and mouthing fishy sounds, and on a quick glance into the water the carrot chunks did resemble goldfish snack pieces. He was pretty adamant that they were fish and I wasn't sure if he'd already forgotten that they were chomped up carrot chunks. All the while he'd been pulling on his willy, and he looked at Daddy and me and said something to the effect of "Bobo penis". We weren't too sure whether he was saying "silly penis" - bobo means silly in Spanish - or boo boo penis (as in my penis hurts), so I signed hurt, to which he shouts "NO!". No doesn't always mean no - at least in toddler speak.
Anyway, "Boba" Mummy then went on to ask him if the little fishies had bitten his penis, and the poor kid froze in horror. The look on his face was so comical as he scuttled onto his haunches quick-smart, to get away from those fishes. Daddy tried to reassure him and told him it was a joke (una broma!), but the wee man was taking no chances with his wee man, and he yelled in panic to be lifted out of the bath! We couldn't help laughing in spite of our kids obvious terror.
I never meant to scare our little man - I genuinely thought he'd laugh at "Silly Mummy!". I guess for all boys - even at such a wee age - their penis is just no laughing matter!!
Welcome to my collection of true short stories, anecdotes and day to day commentary on the joys, hilarity and woes of being a stay-at-home momma to two toddling boys and a brand spanking new baby girl...
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OMG, Josie, that is hysterical! I have a friend with an extremely intelligent, articulate child, and before the kid was two, he would point out people in a crowd and say, "Penis, no penis, penis, no penis...." Too funny!
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