Friday, June 15, 2012

Daddy censorship - what do YOU think?

If you are reading this blog there's a fair chance for both of us that we have my hubs to thank for that.

Almost every single post has been proof read by Daddy wearing first his English Teacher hat, then his Husband Hat and finally, of course, his Daddy hat. It's a thankless task for Daddy, who's brutally honest feedback often incurs my wrath and frustration.

The most I can ever hope for is "It's good." I don't think he's ever gotten overly excited about any of my posts - except maybe A Darwinian Love Affair, and the neonatal novice, mainly due to the special memories these stories evoke.

I don't usually need to wait for his words to know if he likes it or not. He usually cringes, holds his hand to his heart, and looks somewhat pained at my choice of phrase. He'll laugh sometimes too which is music to my ears, as our sense of humor can drastically differ due to our cultural difference, gender, and basic personality type.

To be fair, the hubs 'gets' my often dark, definitely smutty, and sometimes off the wall sense of humor more than most; however, his limits are reached all too often in my blogging. I can't help what spills out of me as I type. I give myself a good giggle at times, while knowing it's not going to fly with the hubs.

Mostly though his prudishness will offset my gratuitousness, and hopefully the outcome (much to Daddy's dismay) is somewhere around the pleasantly smutty and a bit risque, but funny and inoffensive line. Following each reining-in session - and often blatant censorship - I often swear (sulkily) that I'm not listening to his feedback anymore.

I received some fabulous advice from a friend:

Think of your ideal reader - just one person - and write just for them. NEVER run your posts past your better half (hahaha). And write as honest and offensive as it gets in the beginning. (WTF?) 

His point being that my real audience will stick around, and those who don't like my blog won't return.

But that's OK
(he assured me) - you'll never have to hover your finger over the 'publish' button again!  

As much as I loved ALL his advice, I've only really followed the first part of it. That's my prerogative... plus I'm a wuss.

I just want the balls to one time - just ONE time - publish something absolutely in the raw. Then see if the consequences would be catastrophic, or whether I would run off my audience altogether. But the truth is my hubs's sensibility will usually red flag the parts of the post that I am hesitant about myself.

I want to be true to my writing, I want to be funny and out there. I admit I get a bit of a kick out of the idea that my words might shock, or make someone blush.

I want to do all this while still protecting the privacy of my kids and hubs. The hubs is old enough to state his limits, but the kids aren't, so it often takes some discussion between the two of us to decide for them, what is too specific, what is funny and relevant, and what is sacred.

This is an impossible task to be sure. The limits I'm talking about differ for every one of us, and as much as I'm not setting out to offend my readers (Shock? YES. Offend? NO), I can't protect all of you either.

And so the censorship continues. And in spite of my buddy's great advice, the hubs still has a say over what stays and what goes.

Even after receiving Daddy's stamp of approval, there is often still a degree of hesitation before I click 'publish'. This hesitation is usually a good prediction of how popular the post will be - the more hesitation, the more popular the topic. Interesting huh?

So, if you're still with me this far down the post, now I'm asking - no, begging - for some raw and honest blog feedback from YOU! Please don't hold back - the hubs definitely doesn't. OK so he's running scared - but you don't have to live with me! I want some blog comments!

Blog comments are rare gems of insight into my readers thoughts - a blogger friend recently referred to them as 'bloggers' wages' - so please let me know how my blogging is going down at the comments section on the bottom of this blog post. 

If you've not got anything good to say, SAY it anyway!  

Who are you? How many posts have you read? Which was your fave and why? Which post sucked the most? Be honest - I might cry, but I might also improve. Without feedback I just can't tell if my stories are going down like lead balloons or whether they are hot to trot. My only indication of appreciation is the page-view counter, which is steadily clicking away.

I am not fishing for compliments - well maybe a few minnows would be nice. 


  1. Jo, you are my best friend and I adore you and your blogs. I'm with you all the way and have read ALL your posts (well nearly) and love every single one of them. I WANT the raw! I CAN handle it! More s*x, farts and jobbies please xxx

    1. LOL - I knew I could count on you girl, after all you are that 'ideal' audience I was talking about!

      Great and DIRTY minds think alike!!

  2. My first ever blog post comment:
    - I read most of your blogs and enjoy them tremendously... But I also read them because you post a link on your fb! I'm not blog savvy at all!
    - I LOVE that your writing is so different and rare. I assumed the Hubs was doing some English teacher proof-reading, but I flinched and am intrigued to know they are censored!
    - I did attribute the crudeness partly to culture and also to confidence and bravery. I admire you for being you. Life can be crude, why pretend it's not? Mmmm honesty.
    - I can relate in many ways to both blogs and enjoy your friendship, so I might be biased in those ways.
    - For some unexplainable reason, I could do without the Mum farts and poop, yyet I was rolling about forgetting to shave.
    - I do enjoy the writing itself with its comedy, timing, and Brit tone.
    - this is a big ramble and a disappointing first blog comment. I'll try to comment more to specific blog posts.

    1. Thank you SO much for commenting on here Sal! I'm so chuffed you wrote your first ever blog post comment for me:)
      On the contrary to your last sentence - this is a most awesome and honest first blog post! It's lovely to hear you've been reading AND enjoying them.
      I've wondered myself if Brit humor is maybe a little more crass, but then I seem to come across folk on both sides of the pond who do and don't appreciate the potty humor - admittedly there are more here who are turned off by it;)
      One Momma friend recommended maybe adding a 'have a glass of wine first' disclaimer on the cruder blogs - I really like that!

  3. Hi! Stopping by from MBC. Great blog!
    Have a nice day!

    1. Hi Veronica. Thank you for stopping by - I'm glad you liked it:)

  4. Keep up the good work, I am very impressed!!!!!( Fashion apparel

  5. I can relate to this. I would love to do raw also, but I am mindful of the fact that my family reads my blog, including my mother-in-law. She's no prude, but I wouldn't want to push it too far.

    I often censor myself in my deep-and-meaningful posts, because I don't want to hurt those who are close to me.

    So glad you commented on, because now I have found another excellent blog to read!

  6. OK Yo: All I can say is "keep on keepin' on" being yourself. After all, it's who we have come to love.

    Take care, Slu

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