Saturday, April 21, 2012

Tummy Time

It turns out, it's not just our newborns that need to be doing some 'tummy time'. Once a wee person (or three) have inhabited our innards, we mamas have a tough time of it attempting to restore our core to its former strength.

And this crunch-hating Momma's 'core strength' has never been anything to write home about - even before boyo number one and number two arrived on the scene - successfully detaching the seams of my already pathetically weak tummy muscle altogether.

The consequence of which can be seen with this third pregnancy. No sooner had I 'peed on the stick' did my tummy pop out to where it protrudes today (week 24). Seriously, some mamas only look like this when they're full term!

As if losing the preggo weight isn't hard enough! Getting back that flat tum (you had when you were 17) is an entirely different ball game. I'm only realizing now - with my licence to breathe out again - just how difficult a time I was having trying to falsely maintain my former skinny self after carrying two babies.

Week 24: breath in... Week 24: breathe out....

I had been running around after the tots, attempting to hold my tummy in - which in itself is a work-out - only to be caught out on camera with a 'pot' belly a number of times! Ah well, the pretense is over - at least until our daughter shows her face.

Even then (mercifully) there's the work-out 'grace' period - a safe waiting time until it's medically recommended to start working on fusing those muscles back together. That still gives me upward of 10 months before I have to concern myself with sit-ups, but somehow I think it'll take a bit more than a crunch or two to repair my unraveled seams.

One great plus of having no abs to speak of, is the lack of 'resistance' during labour. With no muscles holding my little madam back, it should be just like sliding down a water shoot - no force acting upon her accept gravity! Should my labour pattern continue this go around - that'll be a couple of hours labour plus five minutes or so pushing - I'll take it!

If my tummy muscles are anything to go by, how on earth must my lady bits be fairing? Perhaps I'll have to build up some muscle strength just to keep hold of any future babes until full term - or else I'll be waddling around with a crowning baby for the last three weeks!

I'm just about as keen to do my Kegels as I am my crunches. There's been no complaints - thus far - in that department from Daddy. After bearing witness to that sexual orifice being stretched beyond human comprehension - it's a wonder any future sexual gratification can be derived from ogling that opening, never mind that dallying with a multiple times over Momma must get more and more like throwing a hot dog down a hallway!

I think I've just 'blogged' myself into upping my Kegel regime! But, I don't see any need to concern myself with tightening my tummy until I'm done with birthing babies, and seeing as though us crazy cats are not 100% clear on that one yet, I don't see any agonizing ab workouts (or toned tum) in my foreseeable future.

Perhaps I'll get a tummy tuck for my 'Grand Finale' push prezzie - the same time I treat my hubbie to his vasectomy......

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