Keeping your hedges trimmed....

Daddy and our eldest son were happily splashing away in the river, and Mommy - having just pulled a chair up to the far side of the paddling pool in order to keep an eye on our napping nipper - took advantage of the opportunity to get my feet wet.

It was a somewhat vein attempt to cool my constant 'cupcake' cooker down....

The early afternoon sun was just starting to get brutal, and although I'd managed to slap sunscreen on Daddy and big kid before they bounded down to the water, both Mommy and sleeping babe were still unprotected.

I hadn't wanted to wake baby - and anyway, we were both - mostly - in the shade of two large oaks. I was, however, starting to feel a few rays find me through the branches.

We'd taken both kids out to a place called the Landing; a stunningly idyllic local spot with rare kid-friendly river access, which was fortunately owned by a family that had fostered my husband for a couple of his teenage years.

We'd been intending to bring the boys out here for ages, only finally making it happen for the first time today - not the most relaxed and quietest of days to cram in a river trip!

Yesterday, my hubby broke up for summer vacation, so he had to attend the Graduation ceremony this morning. Summer school is scheduled to kick off next Tuesday, but still, life's hectic pace should get a little steadier over the next few months.....

Who am I kidding?

We almost didn't make it out to the Landing today. After this morning's superhero birthday shindig (there's usually one every weekend these days) our youngest crashed out cold the second I clipped his seat belt together. No joke, I've never seen him fall asleep so fast before! Daddy laughed out loud incredulously, when I told him to look back.

Daddy had come out to meet us for a belated burger - and just in time to witness the party pandemonium. All the superheros had started a scream-off...  awesome. But they'd obviously exhausted themselves and we were rewarded with a tanked-out toddler.

So we were pondering on whether to go or forgo our visit to the Landing again - I could have easily gone home and crawled back into bed, but the heat of the day had the water beckoning - and Daddy hadn't seen his foster family in almost a year....

What the hell! At the very least, we could swing by and say a quick 'hi' to my hubby's adopted kinfolk and while we were at it, check out what we were missing........

I'd thought our eldest might fall asleep too - but his keen batman ears had picked out the word 'swim' from his parent's conversation, and so there was no way our wee water rat was going to miss out on that!

As it turns out we've been missing a lot!

The Landing,
Old Glory Ranch

The Landing is a gorgeous spot, and our big kid was ecstatic about getting to splash and swim in such a little slice of heaven. There was also a huge hammock begging for our bairn to be stretched out on....

I wasn't phased too much by this somewhat tricky transfer - he was dog-tired, comatose and as floppy as a jellyfish. I laid him out on his back, in the middle of the stars and stripes hammock - and happily he remained in the land of nod without making a peep!

I would have loved to have snuggled up beside him, but we would have needed a crane to lift Momma up high enough and into position beside baby. It was one of those flat hammocks - with wooden bracing either end keeping it stretched out... also making it easier to flip......

Our little one looked to be nestled safely in the middle.. sort of... although the drop was a little too far to have Mommy at ease..

After an hour or so I saw him open and close his eyes - seemingly happy to be napping alfresco in completely strange surroundings. I thought he'd resigned himself to going back to sleep, when suddenly he rolled on to his front, attempting to scramble to his knees - and boy did this Momma move.......

I didn't know I could hustle my preggo load so fast - and just as that flippin' hammock was ready to rudely tip my snoozy snuggle bug, I caught him safely in my arms.

Phew! All eyes had been on the rescue.

I don't think he'd been intending to escape his precarious crib - more likely he'd been just hoping to get himself into a favored front, knees-up sleep position.  He was definitely awake now though, and ready to meet everyone. But even more ready to get into the river....

Time was getting on, and big kid wasn't going to be able to skip his nap altogether - the tell tale signs of a tired toddler were starting to break through.

Managing the ship-out mission without letting our littlest get in the water was not really the road either Daddy or Mommy wanted to take, but two toddlers in the water might prove that little too much for even super Daddy to tackle.

So a super hot Momma went to hide behind a fat oak tree to pull on my 'just in-case-we-go-to-the-river' swimming costume, when the awful realization dawned on me that I hadn't tended to my bikini line in as long as it takes the grass to overgrow...

Out of sight, out of mind, I guess.

What was I going to do? With my baby belly in the way I couldn't see the damage - but I knew that what we were dealing with wasn't pretty - and I'm not the kind of fine haired dainty blonde lady that could get away with a little free-styling fluff escaping from my swim knickers. There was absolutely no way of masking my monstrous minge mayhem!

I couldn't let my hubby's kinfolk see me like this.. could I? All the worst hairy fanny ice-breakers were flying through my head - but fortunately I dismissed them all. They just wouldn't work - I didn't know these people well enough. And my poor hubby would be horrified!

It's not the first time I've been caught out like this with a public pubic predicament! I was preggo the last time too - out at the lake-house with more of my husband's family - without a rescue razor for miles. You'd think I'd be a bit better prepared by now!

The fleeting thought occurred that maybe I could get away with it.... I am European after all...

But unfortunately there was a fellow British broad out at the Landing with us, looking all lovely and sleek without a stray strand of body hair in sight.......

Damn.

So instead I abandoned the river plan, and pretended I'd forgotten my swim skivvies, and luckily super Daddy managed to distract both boys in the paddling pool. But that was only a temporary measure and before long their sights were again set on the river and rapids just out of reach.....

Fortunately, the sleek and hairless Brit took pity on our predicament (without knowing the enormity of it) and offered to take a toddler to get wet. Thank you compatriot!

We're going swimming again tomorrow - and with Mommy unable to see down there - Daddy's volunteered to take on extra 'hedge trimming' duties tonight...! I don't think he'll be complaining though.

With Daddy at the helm - his new beard shears in hand - I think it likely more of the haven is destined for a shavin'...........