Saturday, November 10, 2012

turdriffic!

I love Saturday mornings. Especially when there's absolutely nothing on the calender. The day can be whatever we make of it - and unlike the rest of the week - all five of us get a huge chunk of time to hang out together.

This morning the four of us; me, our little lady and the boys, were all sitting around the table enjoying our second brekkie of the day - cream cheese bagels and strawberries. YUM.


Daddy was busy up a ladder weather proofing the screened in porch. He was within earshot, so able to join in the banter, but all we could see of Daddy was his silhouette through the plastic sheeting.

Rather his silhouette than nothing at all. And it was kind of fun. The kids' thought it was like Peter Pan's shadow. Except there was no feather in his cap, he wasn't wearing tights, and Peter Pan wouldn't need a ladder.

My 20 month old was in his high chair. He'd climbed in by himself, first by scaling up onto our three-year-old's booster, then hoisting himself over the high chair table into his seat - it's amazing how we adapt when Momma's arms are full with baby.

It's kind of scary but really freaking cool too. Thankfully, he hasn't tried to get out by himself - yet.

After he'd finished off his last piece of bagel and been thwarted in his attempt to steal big brother's strawberries (he eats so much quicker than big bruv) he turned to Momma and said,

"Potteee Mommeee!"

My hands were free as I'd just put baby down in her bouncy chair, so I lifted him up out of the highchair and put him down on the floor. Straight away he started pushing at his diaper saying,

"Self, self!" He wanted to go and use the potty all by himself - just like big bro.

"Do you want me to help you take your pap pap off?" I asked. I have to ask. He gets extremely upset when anything is done to him without his consent. 'Stubborn' doesn't even come close.

"Yessss!" He nodded, so I unpeeled the tags and let his pap-pap fall. He was off toddling in the direction of the bathroom before his pap pap even touched the floor.

When he sat himself down on the potty, I asked "Door closed - Yes or No?" Just like I do with his big brother.

"Yes!" he nodded smiling.

By the time he was done I had hold of baby girl again.

"Mommeeeee, poo poooooo!"

I slid open the door with my free hand. As soon as my 20 month old saw me, he jumped in the spot next to his potty, pointed at his poo and yelled,

"Ta da!" with a proud expectant expression on his face.

It was high fives all around!

Even Daddy had to get down off his ladder to come and see the turd our 20 month old had nailed in the potty.

Which was kind of convenient for Momma as he also got to wipe his son's ass, but not before our curious little boy had tried to hand-wipe it himself - lovely stuff kiddo.

This desire to use the potty only started up again last week. And very independently he's been pulling off his own diaper and going off to pee in the potty - sometimes without my even knowing it. The first time he did that was a big 'oh shit' moment for Momma.

I feared he was all done with the pap pap forever. I envisioned having to line a room with plastic sheeting - much like Dexter preps his murder scene - and locking the kid in it for 6 months until he worked out how to poop on the pot.

Lucky for me he's not done with his pap paps - at least not all the time. Once he's used the potty, he lets us put a pap pap back on - but we have to catch him first.

He tried out the potty for size back in May, even managing to land a poo poo or two on the pot. But the novelty soon wore off, and he wasn't quite ready - or more to the point, Momma wasn't quite ready - to go cold turkey.

Then came the era of "If you try to change my diaper I will kill you!" He would kick and scream and at first it took two of us to accomplish the task - one of us just to pin the little wrestler down.

Cleaning up a massive poop without getting it all over became a huge skill that only Momma fully developed over time. Daddy would yell for help whenever the malevolent odor wafted past his nose.

Eventually though, baby boy's animosity turned to curiosity and now he even tells us when his pap pap needs changing. He'll still run away though - he just loves the chase! While laying there he'll ask demand "See! See!" and point down to his poo poo. He wants to check out his own poop. That's reasonable enough. Don't you look in the toilet before you flush?

Instead of closing up the diaper, I put it to one side and wait until I've finished changing him, then he'll stand up and closely examine his poop. Sort of like how we look at the contents of a tissue after blowing our nose. It's particularly pleasant having his shit let off steam for so much longer than necessary.

Once he's satisfied he'll say "Yesss. Poo poo." and nod at me, like he's confirming a very important diagnosis. Then he lets me wrap it up.

He cracks me up.

Now that the weather has cooled down - and we've got lots of deck space for him to roam - I've been thinking about gating off all carpeted areas and letting him roam around in the buff - as God intended.

My target for getting him out of diapers was his second birthday - much like we did for big kid  (it costs a bloody fortune keeping two kids in diapers). But if he keeps this up, there'll be no need for going cold turkey - maybe he'll not need any 'training' at all.....

HAHA! And pigs might fly out of my butt!

This morning was the first poo (at least this go round). A big milestone. But less than ten minutes after celebrating - the little bugger peed on the carpet in his bedroom. We'd failed to put his pap pap back on in time.

He proudly told Daddy after he'd done it. At least he didn't keep shtum about it and let Daddy step in it in his socks.

Nothing beats a wet sock!

3 comments:

  1. Ah, it's the little things that make life exciting, isn't it? :p
    And pee soaked socks are the worst...

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  2. Great story! I am so jealous. Can't for the life of me get the Chiquita to go on the potty!!!

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    1. Ha! He hasn't done a voluntary poop on the pot since! Very strong minded and very fickle is my number two child...

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