Friday, January 25, 2013

When I was younger I tried being a veggie....

This has been one crazy week in the Bisett household. Thank FRIG it's Friday again! Time to kick back and relax and finally get some sleep... but not until I've gotten in on the Friday Finish the Sentence link up action, hosted by Can I Get Another Glass of Whine with My Morning Quiet Time? and Janine's Confessions of a Mommyaholic. Go check them out and while you're at it, make sure to have a gander at all the other bloggers linking-up!

When I was younger I tried being a...... veggie.

It all started - my valiant crusade to lay off meat - when I was really young, probably about 10. It was a Sunday and for some reason we were out and about visiting a local farm.

I think I was with an aunt. I sort of remember my two brothers being there, but I'm not seeing my Mum and Dad there with me in the memory. (This is sort of sounding like a dream, but it's not. This really happened. True story.)

Anyway, there we were me and (let's just say for arguments sake) my aunt, and my brothers inside this humongous cow barn, along with some other people, who are totally irrelevant to this story except to say we were on a guided group tour.

And we were all carrying a pack of food pellets to feed the cows, only the cows on the left, mind you -the lucky cows..... (or were they...?)

At first I didn't really differentiate between the cows on the right and the left. A cow is just a cow, right?


There are pretty cows and ugly cows. Just like with people.

So there we all were, feeding the cows on the left, when the guide points to this one brown cow far off in the center of this gorging herd and tells us all very glibly that she's the lucky one - because she's pretty.

And she was. I'd never seen such a pretty cow before. She had long lashes and brown silky fur and......

I was so distracted admiring the pretty cow, I almost missed the next part of his grizzly revelation. She was SOOOO pretty, that she was the only one being saved from the slaughter house that afternoon. The entire rest of this herd on the left, i.e the ones we'd all been fattening up on food pellets were destined for the chopping board.

I could have thrown up right there and then.

Feeling a bit like the witch off Hansel & Gretel, I decided those poor cows weren't getting another pellet from me. I wanted no part of this atrocity.

I'm not sure which was more disturbing, the fact that they were all in line for the slaughter house that afternoon (which made everything so much more real than Ronald McDonald had ever done) or that the prettiest cow was getting a free pass....

With the vanity of a 10 year old girl I found myself thinking; What if I were a cow? Would I be beautiful enough to make it over to the 'right' side of the barn?

I decided that my chances would not be great, so I needed to make a stand now for my plain Jane sister cows. I wasn't eating another cow again.

I was going veggie!

"Don't be daft!" My Dad said on the way over to Granny's later that day. "What are you going to eat if you don't eat meat?"

I hadn't any intelligent answers yet. I'd only just come up with my plan. And I'd probably been a little premature in announcing it. I was already under attack with valid counter arguments.

"But they only kill ugly cows Dad!" Didn't seem to go very far in edging the debate in my favor.

An hour or so later we were all sitting at Granny's watching the TV, when she stuck her head around the door hole and shouted "Your dinner's on the table!"

Our family didn't need telling twice. I dawdled after them all into the dining room and watched mournfully as Granny carved the succulent juicy roast beef. The Yorkshire puds and gravy were already waiting on our plates.

"Our Josie's not having any dinner today. She's a vegetarian." My dad told my Granny.

"A What!!!?" yelled my Granny, like she'd never heard the word before.

She and Dad exchanged glances. Dad's expression didn't give anything away, but the look of sheer ludicrousy on Granny's face said it all.

"Don't be so soft, and eat your dinner!" She scolded.

Without another word I got tucked in to my Granny's scrummy Sunday dinner. Ugly cow or no, that beef was bloody gorgeous!


  1. My son the health food junky and phys-ed teacher was a veggie for 7 years. When he finally whent back to eating meat all who know him were grateful...vegitarian diets can not be healthy just based on the gas the diet causes.

  2. Oh, I forgot to mention this is a very funny post. Children's convictions are easily reversed.

  3. Oh man Josie, I tried this one for about a nanosecond too in my house and that wasn't going to last either, because my mom and grandmother made a lot of meat too between steak, roast beef and chicken. I was surely our of luck. Seriously, thanks for sharing and linking up with us!! :)

  4. This is why I refuse to learn about food more than where it's located in the store...because I'd probably go vegan and then freak out because I couldn't do it! Following you through FTSF link up!

  5. I'm not sure which, but I'm fairly certain that if put in the same situation, I would have either burst out bawling or hung back and opened door trying to get them to escape! Reminds me of when my Mom was a kid and her Dad came home with a turkey. They named him, fed him, played with him, etc... until he showed up on the table that Thanksgiving. She and her sister were crushed!! Now that I think about it, my grandfather HATED turkey, so I'm not sure how that ever happened ... unless he felt so guilty about it, he never ate turkey after that??? Hmmmm ... I'll have to ask Mom about that one. [#FTST]

  6. You know, my daughter came home recently and announced that the idea of hunting made her feel bad, that it seemed wrong, and that she didn't want to eat animals anymore. It only lasted a few days. Now every once in awhile, before she eats meat she will say, "Thank you for giving us your life. " :) Thanks for linking up, sista! Glad you are up and running again!

  7. This is hilarious! I would have totally felt bad for the ugly cows because I would have been able to identify with them. Stupid pretty cow! I loved your parents and grandma's reaction. Classic. So funny! I won't eat veal because I feel badly for the calf. But, it's probably more of an opportunity for me to be self-righteous than anything noble. Ha!

  8. Oh brilliant! I don't think I've ever tried to be veggie before, but I can totally understand why you did it. I try to buy meat responsibly when possible now. I figure that's a better compromise.

  9. it's tough to pass up a nice chunk of beef... and if it's cooked just right, well, that's heaven.

    take care, slu

  10. Great post. I've never been able to give up meat. I love a nice medium rare prime rib. Found you through the Finish This Sentence hop

  11. Oh.My.God. This post is AWESOME! I love it, from start to finish. I, too, went through a veggie stage, but not because of something as "right there in your face" as the pretty cow being the only one saved (and WTF is with that anyway?). Mine was the realization that meat came from these delightful dumb creatures.
    I love how your Granny set you straight. Funny!!! You are so bookmarked! Glad I found you via FTSF. :)

  12. I LOVE this! I totally understand. I was raised on a cattle farm and my husband and I have cattle. When I was little, I participated in the county fair and 4-H. I always took a steer and at the end we always sold him and I knew where he'd be going! I couldn't ever really think on it because I'd get attached to them until fair time. My brother once named his "Big Mac." Can you believe it?!?!

    Love your blog. Glad to have found you! Am your newest follower.

    Kate @

  13. I love beefs. But the beefs don't loves me. And my, I have to force meat down his throat. LOL Great story. I wonder if that's why aliens pick on cows...cuz they aren't pretty. :)

  14. Grandmas rock. You are so thoughtful to think of the cows though. I went vegetarian for a whole year before a new hot dog stand brought me to my knees. It's embarrassing that I couldn't be stronger....just to let you know, I would have been one of the first cows to go to slaughter ;)