Sunday, March 11, 2012

Major Blow Out: home

I've seen a fair number of blow outs from both kiddies, and so these days many pass by without being blog-worthy (all are still giggle-worthy); however, the latest two blow-outs give true meaning to the word remarkable..

Last weekend, whilst hosting our surprise visitor, all the boys, save for baby, went to the local supermarket to get lunch supplies. Meanwhile, the littlest and I stayed home, happily hanging out together - so I thought we were friends. And my little friend's diaper looked fit to burst.

I laid him down on the living room carpet (we were friends after all) and whipped his pants off without further notice. It took a few seconds to register the carnage before me. His diaper had already burst, and I'd successfully smeared the poo - spilling out the sides of his diaper down both legs and over his socks.

Worse than that, the whiplash action of the pants removal had splattered poo across our living room wall.

The shock had me frozen for a second or two, a golden opportunity for baby, who doesn't wait for no-one when it comes to diaper changes. By the time I'd registered the enormity of the situation the little monkey had rolled onto all fours and was crawling away, smearing his mess along the carpet with him.

It was either the carpet or me, and the carpet won - so I lifted the little stinker off the ground and hovered him, a little ways out from my body - which had already taken a substantial s*** hit.

I think I was yelling 'aaggghhh' between raucous outbursts of laughter, and possibly 'Help!' knowing full well there wasn't anyone around to assist..  But lucky me! I heard a key jangling in  the door - the sweetest possible sound I could have heard at that moment.

Once the boys' shocked laughter had subsided - and the ridiculous desire to capture the moment on camera had mercifully been thwarted by a dead battery - my Knight in shining armour tag teamed me with the clean-up.

All the while baby found the whole situation a hoot, and was tickled pink to be dunked - socks and all - into the bathtub. As we splashed away, I could hear Daddy and the Bissell cleaner at work, trying to sanitize what is normally a picnic area for the kids' snacks. And thanks to the wonders of Baby Wipes, not a trace remains on our wall! That's not the first time baby wipes have saved our bacon.

After changing his daughter's diaper, my twin brother once said to me, "Well, that's the first time, she's s*** so much, I had to change my own pants!" Roughly five years on, and I can finally relate!

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