Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Crimson Tide!

I can't believe I'm only 6 weeks post natal, TWO weeks post lochia, and Aunt Flo is already back in town!

They weren't kidding when they said every pregnancy was different! For each little manny I was given a much longer 'rag' respite. I think it was around the fifth/sixth month post natal - about the time the kids branched out from the breast and started scoffing cereal - when my period reared its ugly head.

One of the perks of breastfeeding is supposed to be an extended break from the blob, isn't it?

Some break! That'll teach me for celebrating an early end to my lochia!

I remember reading somewhere that if your baby was sleeping through the night (technically speaking that means at least four hours straight - not my idea of through the night), or if you go back to work with long breaks between breastfeeding, then your periods are likely to start back up quicker.

Humpf! That little lady has been hooked up to my hooters 24/7 for the best part of six weeks, and I definitely don't recall any extended sleep coming my way.

I hope she's been dragging enough cream out of 'em to keep the girls in working order - as if there's any question! Still, it makes you wonder..... why are the painters and decorators already here?

Since I've been making full use of my uterus (over the past three years or so) I've become pretty tuned in with all that goes on in there, which - oddly enough - changes after each baby. Having a human being shacked up in my womb really seems to mess with my biology.

It's like each lodger feels the need to put their own stamp on the place. My bits and pieces inside (and out) keep on getting rearranged. It's not as if they do any major renovating. They just move the furniture around a little...

Feelings and sensations and.. sensitivity.. are all a little different, generally (throughout the month) and during a bit of how's your father, which, so far, has not been cause for complaint.

I haven't fully put that to the test yet, this time round, though! Here's hoping our lady lodger didn't move the couch too far away from the TV set before she left the premises - if you get my drift.....

I first started to recognize the different sensations associated with the various stages of my menstruation cycle while trying for our first baby. When getting pregnant is all you can focus on for two years straight you really start paying attention.

A close friend asked me if I knew when I was ovulating. I didn't.

It's when you find all that gloopy sticky stuff in your knickers! Came her candid and informative response.

In spite of myself she made me blush! Apparently that snotty discharge is an adhesive for the sperm.

Huh? Well, what dya know? I don't remember learning that in sex-ed. But, of course, teaching a bunch of horny teenagers how to get preggers probably wasn't top on the school nurse's agenda!

It was a revelation. She wasn't talking about the results of a dry humping session, or gyrating on the dance floor with a potential 'pull'....

Q. How do you know if you've had a good night?
A.If you throw your knickers at the wall and they stick!

I started to look out for this monthly sperm glue, and it came right about the same time that my ovaries started twinging. I could actually feel myself ovulating.

It's not painful exactly - just an intermittent twinge, which these days is impossible to miss. I'm not sure how I haven't always been able to feel it.

Neo stopping bullets!
I felt like Neo off the matrix - I'd unearthed a superpower I probably always had.

I even remember feeling something when I first 'caught on' pregnant.

And, no, I'm not talking about the big 'O'. That would be a bit of a bugger to miss!

I mean the implantation, although, the first time, it was hard to know what was real and what was placebo.

The 'implant' sensation was clearly there for babies #2 and #3, although the bloke didn't believe me until I waved the pregnant pee wand in his face with 'I told you so' written smugly all over my own.. ta da!

Last Friday some twinging started up on the left side of my abdomen, and a few hours later it moved over to the right. It stung a little - just enough for me to want the hubs to press his hand on my tummy to alleviate the pain.

As keyed in as I've just claimed to be, ovulation was the LAST thing on my mind. I wondered if something hadn't healed correctly - or maybe I was getting appendicitis!

Then Saturday morning it was back to a slasher movie in my skivvies! I didn't even think of the word 'period' until Sunday. I initially surmised it was a bit of legacy lochia - perhaps a bit of my placenta hadn't fully detached earlier - is that possible?

But this stuff was fresh - a bright crimson tide...

It's still going strong and it's Tuesday - four days on. Fortunately there's no cramping whatsoever, but  it has to be a period, right? My uterus has gotten me stumped. It's not often you start shedding your lining the day after you start ovulating, and this 'period' is much heavier than I'm used to!

Thankfully it's my post natal check up on Thursday. Hopefully the Doc can fill in a few blanks. Unless we're hoping for Irish twins, we need to start thinking of ways to stop those tenacious tadpoles in their tracks!


Well, let's see. Here are my our options - at least the ones I know anything about:

1) condoms (98% 'reliable' and like getting a bath with your socks on)
2) coil/cap (total passion killer)
3) the pill (not baby-brain proof)
4) vasectomy (still a dirty word to the hubs)

So, ladies (and gents if you dared the read) what are the kids using these days? How about an IUD? All ideas and recommendations are needed welcome!


  1. I had a real Aunt Flo at 8.5 weeks postpartum with Jasper... Then another at 11.5 weeks and I was BEYOND LIVID - the kid (like Dagny) was attached 24-7. Then, everything went away for the next... What day is it? Yup - till right now! (so about 13 months later!) so there is still hope for you. :) but it was stressful every month of those 13 months, not knowing if I'd been mysteriously knocked up or what. My suggestion is to stock up on the $1 pee sticks.

    1. You lucky LUCKY lady! A 13 month break from the blob sounds wonderful:) OK, so all is not lost - maybe my uterus is just messing with me! Where on EARTH did you find $1 pee sticks...? Do they say 'pregnant' and 'not pregnant'? I'm telling you, dots and lines and crosses confuse the hell out of me!

  2. wow!!! i saw the title and thought we were going to have a good long discussion on Alabama football, AKA the Crimson Tide... yikes!!! take care, slu

  3. NFP...all natural, free, less than 1% divorce rate for users, totally green, you're not putting more estrogen in the water supply when you urinate, no mood swings, you become in tune with your body, your husband commits to loving you for more than just sex etc etc etc etc etc...

    1. I had to Google NFP - I thought it was a (new-fangled pill) holistic tablet or some other natural herbal remedy! I've just read that it's 98.6-99% effective - which definitely beats the condom, and possibly many of the other popular methods of contraception! I've got to say that I'm more and more a believer in listening to your own body, but still, I'm not sure I'm cut out for 8 kids;) I don't know how you do it! Thanks for stopping by my blog and for the advice - you've opened up a whole new world of possibility....

    2. My husband and I practice NPF too (and we only have 2 kids, though, we've also only been married for 4 years). Until you are really in-tune with what's going on though, it can be a little nerve-wracking to wonder if you're pregnant, especially those first few months post-partum when you do not want Irish twins.

      For my first 4-6 months post-partum with my first child, I was notorious for taking a failed pregnancy test, and then getting my period within 24 hours later.

  4. I got Mirena(IUD) after I had my daughter, and got it removed 6 months later. Long long story, but I (and one of my doctors) were concerned it was affecting my hormone levels and therefore attributing to my postpartum depression. My OBGYN insisted that Mirena (and IUDs) would not do that, but after a little research we found out there is artificial hormone in it. I got back on the pill and immediately felt better, but not completely 100%. But, I do feel that for whatever reason the IUD just didn't "agree" with my system. Good luck!

    1. I don't know why the idea of the IUD scares me - I've had so much going on in my uterus for so long.. you'd think having something inserted up there wouldn't phase me. It does. I hate the idea of any more invasive vaginal action - not counting the hubs of course:P! I'm thinking a pill would agree with me better too - and I'm guessing it's a lot easier to change the pill!!

  5. Josie, WHERE IN THE WORLD did you find that first picture? Hilarious! I'm sorry you're going through all of the nasty period stuff so close to giving birth. You've just got a regular river-of-stuff coming out, eh? If you ever are a pill girl, try the one (Seasonal?) that gives you only 4 periods a year. You need a breather!! Make sure your iron levels are good when you go back to the doc. May the force be with you. Or the opposite of force..You know what I mean. <3- Michele

    1. Thanks Michele! I'll definitely be asking the Doc about the seasonal option! Only 4 periods a year - YEEHAA! Is there something you're not telling me? They don't last four weeks do they? :O

  6. haha I just checked out your blog from the blog hop and wanted to say hi and thanks for linking up!! I love your style of writing- you had me giggling :) I wasn't so lucky either- started back around 3 months. bah-hum-bug!

    1. Thank you Allie - I love hearing that it made you giggle:)

  7. Implant? Baby brain proof, not sure how it works with breast feeding though!
    Although sounds to me like it might not be AF and could be a bit of retained products, check it out at the Dr's. I had this last year (it's a long story that requires a lot of beer!) they eventually found it on an internal ultrasound and a D&C later I was back to normal..

    1. Yikes! I Hope not:( I must have pretty bad baby brain - I just had to do a bit of Googling in order to understand your comment - doh! Of course AF = Aunt Flo (ha!), and now I have a fair idea of what a D&C is. I sincerely hope I don't have to get any more familiar than that! Thanks for your comment and advice - and for giving me a real problem to worry about:P

  8. I have lived in thr American South too long as I totally thought your post was about Alabama football! Agh!
    I say vasectomy. Tell your hubs to deal with it,YOU birthed three babies! And it's honestly not that bad. Mine had his done and it was uncomfortable for a couple of days... He was very motivated because I considered his junk a loaded weapon and basically did not want it near me! Found you on the mommy mixer!

    1. Haha! I added a preface to my FB and twitter links warning the fellas to steer clear as it was NOT a football post! One or two still fell through the cracks though;) The hubs thought it was 'cute' that I even knew the name of the Alabama Football team!! Thanks for finding me - and you're right! But to be fair, I have my reservations also... it's just so final... If I knew we were 100% done FOREVER, the poor guy would probably already be emasculated!:)

  9. I wish I could get the hubby to consider getting the snip, but he didn't even want me to get the dogs done (we did). We are restricted to taking baths with socks on, as I can't have anything with added hormones due to an increased risk of cancer. I am high risk, having had it before, so I'm not taking any chances. So, for now, we are just waiting until nature takes its course (I'm perimenopausal) and sends Aunt Flo packing.

    I learned something today, I never knew about the 'gloopy sticky stuff in your knickers' being a sign of ovulation.

  10. Ugh, ugh, ugh! This is such a battle to figure all this out. Especially when the pill started giving me awful migraines, so had to cross that off the list of options...hope you figure out a happy solution for you soon!

  11. and here, i have indeed "vanished." yikes!!! maybe because i thought it was the "tide." don't know, but i'm back!!! slu