Crimson Tide!

I can't believe I'm only 6 weeks post natal, TWO weeks post lochia, and Aunt Flo is already back in town!

They weren't kidding when they said every pregnancy was different! For each little manny I was given a much longer 'rag' respite. I think it was around the fifth/sixth month post natal - about the time the kids branched out from the breast and started scoffing cereal - when my period reared its ugly head.

One of the perks of breastfeeding is supposed to be an extended break from the blob, isn't it?



Some break! That'll teach me for celebrating an early end to my lochia!

I remember reading somewhere that if your baby was sleeping through the night (technically speaking that means at least four hours straight - not my idea of through the night), or if you go back to work with long breaks between breastfeeding, then your periods are likely to start back up quicker.

Humpf! That little lady has been hooked up to my hooters 24/7 for the best part of six weeks, and I definitely don't recall any extended sleep coming my way.

I hope she's been dragging enough cream out of 'em to keep the girls in working order - as if there's any question! Still, it makes you wonder..... why are the painters and decorators already here?

Since I've been making full use of my uterus (over the past three years or so) I've become pretty tuned in with all that goes on in there, which - oddly enough - changes after each baby. Having a human being shacked up in my womb really seems to mess with my biology.

It's like each lodger feels the need to put their own stamp on the place. My bits and pieces inside (and out) keep on getting rearranged. It's not as if they do any major renovating. They just move the furniture around a little...

Feelings and sensations and.. sensitivity.. are all a little different, generally (throughout the month) and during a bit of how's your father, which, so far, has not been cause for complaint.

I haven't fully put that to the test yet, this time round, though! Here's hoping our lady lodger didn't move the couch too far away from the TV set before she left the premises - if you get my drift.....

I first started to recognize the different sensations associated with the various stages of my menstruation cycle while trying for our first baby. When getting pregnant is all you can focus on for two years straight you really start paying attention.

A close friend asked me if I knew when I was ovulating. I didn't.

It's when you find all that gloopy sticky stuff in your knickers! Came her candid and informative response.

In spite of myself she made me blush! Apparently that snotty discharge is an adhesive for the sperm.

Huh? Well, what dya know? I don't remember learning that in sex-ed. But, of course, teaching a bunch of horny teenagers how to get preggers probably wasn't top on the school nurse's agenda!

It was a revelation. She wasn't talking about the results of a dry humping session, or gyrating on the dance floor with a potential 'pull'....

Q. How do you know if you've had a good night?
A.If you throw your knickers at the wall and they stick!

I started to look out for this monthly sperm glue, and it came right about the same time that my ovaries started twinging. I could actually feel myself ovulating.

It's not painful exactly - just an intermittent twinge, which these days is impossible to miss. I'm not sure how I haven't always been able to feel it.

Neo stopping bullets!

I felt like Neo off the matrix - I'd unearthed a superpower I probably always had.

I even remember feeling something when I first 'caught on' pregnant.

And, no, I'm not talking about the big 'O'. That would be a bit of a bugger to miss!

I mean the implantation, although, the first time, it was hard to know what was real and what was placebo.

The 'implant' sensation was clearly there for babies #2 and #3, although the bloke didn't believe me until I waved the pregnant pee wand in his face with 'I told you so' written smugly all over my own.. ta da!

Last Friday some twinging started up on the left side of my abdomen, and a few hours later it moved over to the right. It stung a little - just enough for me to want the hubs to press his hand on my tummy to alleviate the pain.

As keyed in as I've just claimed to be, ovulation was the LAST thing on my mind. I wondered if something hadn't healed correctly - or maybe I was getting appendicitis!

Then Saturday morning it was back to a slasher movie in my skivvies! I didn't even think of the word 'period' until Sunday. I initially surmised it was a bit of legacy lochia - perhaps a bit of my placenta hadn't fully detached earlier - is that possible?

But this stuff was fresh - a bright crimson tide...

It's still going strong and it's Tuesday - four days on. Fortunately there's no cramping whatsoever, but  it has to be a period, right? My uterus has gotten me stumped. It's not often you start shedding your lining the day after you start ovulating, and this 'period' is much heavier than I'm used to!

Thankfully it's my post natal check up on Thursday. Hopefully the Doc can fill in a few blanks. Unless we're hoping for Irish twins, we need to start thinking of ways to stop those tenacious tadpoles in their tracks!

Hmmmm.

Well, let's see. Here are my our options - at least the ones I know anything about:

1) condoms (98% 'reliable' and like getting a bath with your socks on)
2) coil/cap (total passion killer)
3) the pill (not baby-brain proof)
4) vasectomy (still a dirty word to the hubs)

So, ladies (and gents if you dared the read) what are the kids using these days? How about an IUD? All ideas and recommendations are needed welcome!