feeling emotional anyone?

I take the kids to music class on Monday mornings and my eldest loves it. No, sorry. I have to put the caps-lock on and try again. My eldest LOVES it.

Nope. Even that doesn't do it justice.

He doesn't sit on Momma's knee like most of the other kids. To be fair I don't have a spare knee for him to sit on, with little Miss D held on one side, and L-boy backing right up to me (so he doesn't get eaten by a bunch of music loving strangers.)

My number one son is in his element here. And if he does feel the need to have a rest, he has no qualms about pulling up a pew on some other kid's Mom's knee (or the teacher's).

He's that kid that will walk up and introduce himself to a room full of strangers. While I'm incredibly proud of his self assurance - I'm astounded at how much spunk he's got - just like his Daddy!

The first week of class another Momma leaned over and asked me if he was getting paid. No kidding, he's a walking talking advert for Music Together. They should have him on the booklet and CD cover. Man - my little star would be all over that!

He's the same when we take his picture (thank God he's over the cheesy Chandler grin phase). He poses for most pics (when he's not in a grump) and gives us a huge smile right on cue. The kid loves yelling "Say cheese!" 

Hmmm. Maybe we should have him try out for Barney? (That's one way we could kill his high-school love life.)

Anyway, this week at music class one of the Mum's asked me,

"Is he always this happy?"

I could barely control my manic "BWAHAHAHA!" response. "Hell, NO!" In hindsight I feel a little traitorous for dispelling the happy illusion he'd created at his music class.

"Stop by our house when he wakes up from his nap if you want to see the dark side!" I chuckled.

The following Nursery Rhyme springs to mind:

When she was good she was very very good, but when she was bad she was horrid.

"He's a bit manic...!" I joked. And by 'manic' I was alluding to manic depressive. In the past it's crossed my mind that I could be a bit 'manic' myself (NOT kidding!)

Once, when I was feeling VERY sad, I Googled it....  'HEAVEEEEEE!' It turned out I wasn't symptomatic after all - and that made me VERY happy.

Just today was the best of times and the worst of times all wrapped into the 17 hours I've already been awake.

This morning all the birds were singing (in my head) and I was drafting a post (in my head) about how wonderful Saturday morning staying home with the family had turned out. Tonight I'm sobbing into the pillow mourning the loss of my career and ambition - feeling sorry for myself that there's no prizes for being top Momma. It's so much harder being a Momma when you're an over achiever. It sucks that we're all equally as bad good as each other.

"Emotional." The other Momma kindly supplied a much better word.

Of course! Why didn't I think of that? He's just being emotional. Well that's okay then. 

He's his Momma's son after all! He scored his positive performer attributes from his Daddy and his mood swings from his Momma. It really helps to think of it like that.

I realize I can empathize when he's at his worst. And now (thanks to my 'emotional' break through) I can see me in him. 

Sometimes I hear myself saying to his Daddy, "I don't know what's gotten into him!"

Of course you do Momma... NOTHING! He's just a slightly less mature version of ME.

I don't need to fix him. And he's not being grumpy because I got it wrong (Geez! Why do you have to take everything so personally Momma: It's not because you didn't get him to sleep early enough, or because you let him watch Dora and eat a candy, or because you haven't been outside yet....) 

He's just feeling sad. And that's okay. 

Most of the time I can cuddle his grump out of him (pay attention Hubby dearest). The key is to give him the love even though he's really mad at me. And he's saying "I'm angry Mommy!" and "Don't say you love me Mommy!" and "Naaahhhhhhhhhhh".

I'm so glad I don't have to deal with me as well as my three year old!

At least when we're happy we're really happy.

The emotively insightful Mommy at music class went on;

"You should film him and send it off to Disney!" 

Haha. Seriously, he's that happy.