Do I come across as happy?

Recently I've started to wonder if my true self comes out when I blog, or, when a total stranger (like many of my readers) joins the dots together, is the picture that emerges skewed in the wrong direction?

Am I misinterpreting myself?

Back home I used to watch Big Brother and (big admission coming out here) I often sat and watched the 24 hour live coverage. Every now and then they'd hide the sound so we couldn't hear what was being said - obviously something really juicy.

(Oh goody! They''re saving it for tonight's show.. I can't miss it now!)

But it was soon obvious that the editors were choosing to air only the bits they wanted. And by doing so, they could sway the audience. A bit like the News does.

I do this (albeit unintentionally) with my friends and family back home. I don't speak to them on the phone as frequently as I'd like to, and when I do I don't want to bog them down with all my crapola! I laugh, I joke, I entertain, but when I'm a wreck i.e when I need them the most, I resist the urge to pick up the phone.

Sometimes I'm too weak to resist - but I nearly always regret this moment of weakness (and that's all it ever is, a fleeting moment). But as far as that poor person on the other end of the line knows, I'm a blubbering wreck in desperate need of therapy until our next 'happy' conversation, which could be months later. At least they can check in with me on my blog now...

This works both ways. I've 'faked' happy at times to protect my Mum's heart and nerves - she's way too old to be worrying about her estranged grown-up daughter (who still needs her mummy once in a while). She has no idea that after laughing raucously for half an hour I curl up on the floor still cradling the handset and sob my homesick little heart out (not every phone call Mam).

Even if I blogged 15 times a day there'd be gaps. I frequently sit down to blog, only to get pulled away from the screen minutes later to put my eldest on the potty. In the short interim while I'm gone I might happen to receive an unexpected invoice from our letting agents, let's say.

Total bummer. The tone of my writing changes drastically. I guess we'll never know what incredible literary creation just went down the can along with my eldest's inconvenient post bedtime turd, will we?

Sheesh! The above was supposed to preface my blog post; Do I come across as happy? (I'm a rambling blogger these days...)

The truth is, I am. Very.

And recently, I've been thinking it's a travesty if my readers don't know that. I don't know if I blog happy enough?

I blog rude, and silly, and deep (aw, c'mon! I can be deep) and I've blogged sad. I sincerely hope through all of that, my happiness at being the Momma comes shining through.

Kelly Portmann Photography (you can also find Kelly on Facebook)

Does it go without saying, or is it something that needs saying more often?