Friday, May 10, 2013

Two dead armadillos, one dead kitten and stories forgotten.....

I'm blogging under duress. I don't really want to write anything these days, but I'm not sure that's doing my dilapidated brain cells much good (intellectually and psychologically speaking). So here I am - under self imposition - to tell you a bit about my life since the last post.

The worrying thing is, it's really tricky trying to conjure up all the happenings from over the past month or so. My life has started to pass me by - in spite of my digging my heels in. Every night I remind myself to appreciate everything - but I can't for the life of me get it to slow down.

I'm not unhappy. That's not to say I don't get unhappy. Sometimes I get very unhappy - like last night. That was a particularly bad night. The hole in the pit of my tummy caused by the non-presence of my English kinfolk was more gaping than usual - and I couldn't even fill it with food.

I feel a bit better today. Friends help fill my holes, and I had a friend over this morning. For the most part I'm way too happy - fit to burst. Which is probably why the downs are more stark.

I'm also reading a really great book. It's the kind of book that you want to dive inside and become that lead character. After a while you think you are that person, and when you're forcibly dragged back to reality to make dinner or do the dishes, it's heartbreaking. A bit like waking up from the best dream ever.

Real life is sorely disappointing in comparison. I don't mean to sound ungrateful - but it's true. That's the mark of a truly terrific book. My husband says 'Stop reading it - if it's just going to depress you!' but how can I stop reading it? It's a series of seven, with each book topping 800 pages - I'm only just into book 2, but every chance I get I escape into 18th century Scotland and imagine myself having great sex with a brawny kilted clansman.

Speaking of great sex - tomorrow I'll be doing Passion Party number 5 and I can't wait! So far this mini new business venture of mine has been a laugh and a half and a would-be roaring success if only I could stop buying the merchandise myself!

Getting Mommy out and about and away from little people to play with the big kids has recently been promoted to top Bisett household priority. Of course it helps me justify (mainly to myself) my amped up social life if I can bring home some bacon at the same time.

With the idea of a bit of extra income coming in we decided to go ahead and start fencing our land. We've wanted to fence the perimeter since we acquired our almost 4 acres almost 5 years ago, but we've had more pressing places to target our finances.

Finally though - we're on our way, and it couldn't come at a more pressing time. Worryingly we've started to accumulate a pile of dead critters beside our playscape. Twice a day the dogs get time to play out of their pen and usually they stay within hearing range; however - like most canines - they are prone to chase anything that moves. I've never seen them catch up with anything before.

Only recently have we had the honor of receiving their 'kill'. I thought only cats did this, but I doubt very much our kitty-cat could be responsible for hauling home two dead armadillos - and definitely not a baby kitten.

Yes - you heard right. My hubs sickeningly found an itty-bitty black kitten rigor mortise in the same spot where the armadillos met their end. We didn't witness this horrific crime - but my money's on the white dog. I caught him nosing one of the squirming armadillos before it choked. I thought he'd taken on a rattler at first, until I got up close.

That baby cat wasn't the first tiny black kitten to make its way onto our land - but it was the first to meet its maker here. If only the dogs had been penned the fragile fur ball would have been rescued and loved the same as its relative before him. I don't know where they're coming from. It's actually a little spooky and a lot heartbreaking.

Honestly - I don't know how a fence would help keep out a kitten but at least our dogs could only chase critters beyond the boundary and no further. I'm also excited for the boys to have a marked out territory to explore.

Let me see - other blogworthy news to note...

- The hubs got his Masters and was immediately offered an adjunct teaching position over the summer at the University of Texas Texas State (*tut* Pay attention Momma!)

- Baby girl had her 9 month well test and took her injection like a champ.

- We are still in the throes of potty-training with our middle child. He has reached the 'take off all his clothes in public' stage when he wants to go tinkle. He even earned himself a round of applause at an outdoor concert when he bared all in front of the stage.

- Both boys and Daddy have had their long locks chopped off in preparation of the hot summer months.

- I played Bunko for the first time and won!

I'm not sure if my former fervor for blogging will ever recommence. I hope so. But for now I'm going to give myself a break. Life has never been busier and I don't see any chance of it easing up in the foreseeable future. As I sit here tenaciously typing I grieve for all the lost stories from the past month.

They're in my head and heart for the now, but unjournaled and destined to be forgotten. Much like photography, blogging is a way to capture memories. And without blogging, more of life can happen - but equally more will be forgotten.

Not for the first time I wish I could freeze time - and maybe even turn it back a few hours to save a kitten.


  1. Aw, so sorry to hear about the kitten! That sucks. :(
    And take your time with taking a break - we'll be here when you get back!
    Congratulations to the hubs! That's awesome. And yay you for your passion parties! I would never have the guts...sigh...

    Oh and while I'm here can I ask a favor? Can you point your blog roll to my feed instead of the home page? For some reason it no longer updates using the home page. Feed is I'd hugely appreciate it!

    1. Hey girl - thanks for the reminder! I am now pointing to your feed :)

  2. Josie B... Miss you. Take your time. All the best with what you have going. Happy Mother's day, Slu

  3. That's a shame about the kitten. :(

    But really I'm commenting because YOU'RE READING OUTLANDER, RIGHT? :D Such a good series! I've lost count of how many times I've re-read the them but I've just started the 7th book again. The 8th is out this year, yay! And did you hear it's maybe going to be TV series a la Game of Thrones? Haha, now I want to get off the computer and read.

  4. So sorry to hear about the kitty--I would have been crushed, too. Hang in there Josie--we all go trough dry spells with our writing. Just keep taking brief notes until you are ready to start writing again. No worries--you'll get your mojo back. Until then, I'll be thinking of you and missing you!

  5. NEver apologize for taking breaks or walking away from blogging, Josie. You are doing very important things. Raising your babies, running your business, mourning for wild/tamed animals :) You're living life out loud. There isn't always time to chronicle all of it. After saying that, I still miss your words. I'll just keep an eye out on my side bar for your next drive-by post. Take it all in, girl. :)

  6. I miss you! You're so right about how blogging takes up your living time, but then if you don't do it you're not recording the living you've done. Trying to find the balance between those is like standing on a teeter-totter and making it stay parallel to the ground. Selfishly, I hope you come back to blogging, but I even find myself, more and more, not feeling like writing too.