Sunday, December 30, 2012

Seven swans a swimmin'

I'm publishing this post a day early, because tomorrow is the real New Year's Eve and hopefully I'll be way too wrapped up in my merriment to be blogging!

It's New Year's Eve otherwise known as the seventh day of Christmas - so what better day to officially and publicly accept the BEST award of the year (in my humble and most modest opinion); The best BLOG of 2012 THE YEAR award (I may have accidentally added the prefix 'best'.)

I'm supposed to list seven things about me - but those of you that already know at least seven things about me probably also already know that (much like Times Square at the stroke of midnight) I'm about to drop the ball on that one!

Instead I figured I'd roll with the 'seven' theme and have my 3 year old - whose voice is more angelic than the Holy Spirit himself (boasts his tone deaf Momma) - sing the run down of the 12 days of Christmas starting with the Seventh Day of Christmas....

What was I thinking?

After two days of rehearsals and watching like a million different versions on You Tube and jelly bribery and staying up late to film, then going through hours of movie takes in a last ditch desperate attempt to glean a partially successful song sequence, I give up.

Here are some farting elves instead:

We had every version of The 12 days of Christmas known to man playing back-to-back on You Tube earlier today, in our hopeless quest to teach S-boy the words. The chipmunks finished their squeaky rendition, and a load of hamsters and talking cats and dogs followed. Neither of these clips were conducive to teaching our three year old the words. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse we stumbled across these farting elves.

The hubs grappled for the pause button, and I just about choked I was laughing so hard at Mrs Clause and her 'flapper' fart. OMG! The kids didn't bat an eyelid - except at the end, when our littlest boy yelled "House gone!" holding both his palms upwards and rising his eyebrows questioningly.



Back to the best BLOG OF 2012 THE YEAR award.

I have to share the back story on this...

Not less than five months ago I washed my hands with these blogger awards.

I'd received one for the first time toward the end of June and boy was I stoked. I was over the moon and basking in my husband's pride. I thought I'd made it BIG time - finally this was the break I'd been waiting for..... then I read the 'rules'.

When I realized that the award was a creation of someone not too dissimilar to myself and it had been passed on time and time again to many bloggers, ( mean to tell me this isn't an 'official' award? I haven't been invited to present at Blog Her conference, or received a publishing contract with Huffington Post? What do you mean I have (the power vested in me) to pass it on to other bloggers?) I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me.

And yes, I also felt like a total idiot. I had to admit to the hubs that we wouldn't be jetting off to any fancy writer's award ceremony so he could stop dusting off our suitcases and bung them back into the shed.

In the following two months I got a number of these so called 'awards' and while I was grateful for being acknowledged by my new-found blogger friends with these small internet tokens of appreciation, it was hard to get over the bitterness of my disappointment.

When Little Miss D arrived I tried to stay present on the blog, even though life with a newborn and my boys (1 and 2 at the time) was crazy hectic, but I couldn't keep up with the back-log of awards. I didn't want to reject any of them. That happened to me the first time I awarded my favorite bloggers, and I won't beat about this bush anymore. That stunk.

I guess I wasn't high ranking enough, or popular enough or whatever.

I also didn't want to ignore any of them by not responding. Again this had happened to me a number of times and that pretty much blowed the same as being rejected.

So I did the only thing I always do in a crisis. I blogged about it. I admitted all - in what I thought was a light-hearted and funny manner. I didn't pass the awards on individually, instead I left them up for grabs.

No one grabbed one.

I was utterly rejected on a massive scale - but at least it was over with in the one fell swoop. I licked my blogger wounds and moved on.

My main readers were my FB friends, and hardly any of them are hard-core bloggers, so they didn't need a stupid award anyhow.......

In steps Miss Stephanie Sprenger.

Okay so she didn't accept grab an award either. She did, however, leave a comment on the link I'd posted on my brand new Go Momma FB page..

I'd just figured out how to make a Facebook page and received my first 'like' from someone who wasn't a Facebook friend of mine or my hubs.

How very exciting! Of course I shouted the hubs over to the computer desk to show him somebody out there, that was under no social network obligation, had 'liked' me.

Like he really gives a rat's ass! But he dutifully came over anyway and kissed me on the forehead.

Mommy For Real had liked me.

Of course I started stalking her straight away and I was even more excited. She was a story-teller, just like me!

She wasn't doing give-aways, or promotions or other bloggie bumf I don't yet understand. She was writing real honest to god stories and she made me laugh out loud from day one! I was hooked.

I added her to my blog roll on my sidebar no messing - that's where I add all the blogs I read so I never miss a new posting!

And then I went and published Taking care of bloggy business!

The following interaction took place;

Now it might just be me that obsesses about how well my blogs and comments and replies and tweets go over, so when I received Mommy, for real.'s comment at 20:46 I felt my palms go sweaty.

Oh shit. I hadn't just offended my only non-obligatory 'like' had I?

I obsessed over my response for the next 49 minutes (give or take).

She didn't respond until the NEXT DAY. For 16 hours and 44 minutes I thought I'd lost my new blog friend by my reckless slagging off of those most sacred bloggie awards.

Well Shit.

I was sooo relieved when she responded with an emoticon. It wasn't a smiley face, but it was STILL A FACE.

Thank fuck for that!

Fast Forward to this week. No one has given me a bloggie award since - and I don't blame them! Either the blog has gone down hill (likely story) or my bloggie friends actually read my blog and pay attention.

In walks Miss Stephanie Sprenger.... again.

And in spite of all, that magnanimous lady only goes and bestows me with the BEST AWARD (of 2012) EVER!

She graciously gave me an out - said I didn't have to fulfill the blogger duty of formal acceptance and passing it on - but I just couldn't do it. I'm SO  damn proud of this latest award and so grateful that it has been thrust upon me in such a manner.

I want you all to go and check her out now. Now.. NOW I tell yer! Her stories are truly great. Of all the bloggers I know, I'm convinced her writing will be the first I see in print. She's already been published in The Power of Moms a couple of weeks back. And I'm just waiting for the day her name will be bandied around on The View or Ellen. She's that good.

I can't say enough wonderful things about her so I implore you to go and visit her blog and say 'hi' from me. You won't be disappointed.

Did I tell you she can sing too?

It's totally unfair that she can write so beautifully AND sing that way too. Bitch.

I'm still not done yet.

She said I don't have to pass this on to another blogger, but I want to. See, there's only one other blogger that I love quite as much as Stephanie and I desperately don't want to miss this opportunity of letting her know it.

So here goes....

(By the power vested in me..) the 'BLOG OF 2012 THE YEAR' award (AKA The BEST BLOG OF 2012) goes to the incredibly warm and witty and funny Michele Marriott (aka Shelly Bean from follow me home...)

I love Michele's casual and easy and hilarious writing style. I wait in anticipation for her blog to pop to the top of my blog roll, and I'm sometimes left waiting for a week or more... but when she delivers boy does she deliver. Michele NEVER disappoints.

There 'aint nothing like a Shelly Bean comment - and I've seen that said on many a comment thread. She's everywhere spreading love and laughter and she has an uncanny knack of making you feel really special. Without a Shelly Bean comment you've got to wonder if something's up... (no pressure Michele)

She always leaves me thinking the world would be a better place if there were more *Double Ms in it. (*Double M is a nickname appointed by another fellow blogger Slu Rider and I just love it.)

So that's it from Go Momma for 2012! I realize I've left you no time to pay it forward Michele - but that 'aint no thing but a chicken wing! Please just accept this award for your sidebar. It'll look blooming gorgeous up there.

Now all my bloggy business is taken care of, all that's left to do is to wish every single one of you a Happy New Year!


Totally off topic, but in keeping with the title; Did anyone catch this on Wheel of Fortune? What a set of stingy pedantic bastards!


  1. Ha!!!

    1st: Congrats... you absolutely deserve it.

    side note: I have this image in my head of a 1950's newspaper guy sitting behind his typewriter, smoking, just typing away in frantic fashion, cranking out his next story... with all you have going, you still "crank" 'em out, so many each week, and still "nail" it every single time.

    Also, I totally "get" the 1st half of this post. I'm with ya (now).

    2nd: Very sweet of you to name "Double M." She is so very good & loving with her words & her stories.

    I'm lucky to have found both of y'all, as well as a few others on "our" short list... Each of you have brought many smiles to me in the past year.

    Happy New Year and looking so forward to so much more in 2013.

    With much love, Slu

    1. HAHA! I love your side note! I'm taking it as a HUGE compliment:D I'm a little dumbfounded and humbled by the blog friendships that have struck up this last year. That strangers are even slightly interested in what I've got to say is baffling enough, but some of y'all out there actually seem to care also! *sniff.

      Happy New Year Slu and thank you kindly for your comments and your blog friendship. All the best for 2013!

  2. Not sure where to start with this one...

    First off, you did pass on one of those awards to me and it has been haunting me since then! I love it but you are right about them. They are passed around so frequently and when the rules state to give to another blogger with less than 200 or 300 bloggers, I can't do that! Most of the blogs I follow have more than that. I couldn't even come up with seven other blogs to give the award to. It seemed... what's the word(s)?... wrong? like cheating? not earned? Whatever you want to call it.

    I feel like I'm letting the other blogger down by not accepting the award but I just can't do them. Kind of like a Thanks but No Thanks.

    1. It's a big relief to hear from other bloggers out there that harbor the same award misgivings I do! They are bitter-sweet, and I'm sorry that I chain-lettered you, although I still think your blog is brill and you deserved the award. We are still playing what Momma calls 'Tracks' everyday (an idea I stole from your blog and just tonight we scored more hand-me-down tracks to make even crazier longer tracks! Happy New Year:)

  3. Sorry to see you comment on my post on New Year's Eve, hope you got out for merriment after, but thanks for the nice comment.

    Happy New Year


    1. Unfortunately my baby still has to nurse - even on Christmas Eve ;) But this is where my nifty little new iPhone comes in really handy! No getting 'out' afterwards for any merriment am afraid, although we had fun times with good friends at home.. Oh, *and* fireworks!

  4. I get what you're saying about the awards. I LOVE getting them because they are acknowledgements from other people who know just how hard blogging can be. I did my first one (from Shellybean, BTW). I did the second one, then decided my readers wouldn't want to read a "narcissistic me-fest" regularly so now when I get an award I edit that second one and add it on. Good enough.

    I actually created an award "The Prestigious Sweet Blog Award". Only one person has or will ever win it, Shellybean. It's on her blog!

    1. It's a small bloggy world. I think I gave Michele the Liebster Award, which she subsequently passed on to you! And I'm so glad she did. If I'd known you back then you'd have been on my list also:)

  5. Josie Bisett! I LOVE YOUR GUTS!! Thank you so much for the awesome blog award and beautiful comments.
    You were the first one to give me my Liebster and I never forgot it! Even though they are a pain in the big, bumpy arse, I have made the coolest blog friends ever through giving/receiving them. I will proudly hang that award on my sidebar like the cool kids do. You seriously made me cry. Happy 2013 to you, hot momma!

    1. Ah, Michele! I've been eagerly waiting for you to comment. You are the BEST at flattery, and it will get you everywhere with me! Every momma needs to hear they're a 'hot' momma, particularly at our post holidays' fat peak!! So ta very much hot momma, yourself! :)

  6. Great post and Congrats on the Award You really deserve it for your hard work! The hardest is picking who to give them to and then those who literally hate everything about them so I give them up for grabs too!

    1. Thank you Gossip_Grl! I haven't forgotten you were my 'first'. My blog wears the Fabulous Blog Ribbon with pride!

  7. OMG! I can't believe I didn't see this post until today- once again, I kind of suck sometimes. Now, where to begin?....
    THIS POST!!! I smiled, I teared up, I actually laughed out loud (SO hard to come by for me...) I loved every stinking word of it. I love how you put your neuroses right out there for the world to see, probably one of the reason I love you. That comment anxiety bit made me smile so hard, first off because it was about lame old me, who was feeling equally nervous, and second because that is SO me. I can't believe we were both feeling so self-conscious at the same time! :D
    I am super excited to check out your award-ee (yes, it's a word) and THANK YOU buckets for the amazingly nice, perhaps undeserved things you said about me. I heart you!!!!
    Again, SO sorry I took a whopping three days to see this...sheesh!

    1. HAHA! A whopping three days of Josie neuroses - thank you very much! I felt sure you hated it, or had finally realized how *sad* I really am! LOL! No, I'm joking (a bit;). We, me and my hubs, had actually deduced that maybe (just maybe) you had more of a life than we internet dwellers do these days and had better fish to fry than blogging over New Year's! Much love to you girl! xxx

    2. Oh God, Josie neuroses I love it! I am feeling jealous that my name doesn't rhyme with neuroses... I would say definitely not more of a life, just guilt over my screen time and an effort to cut back last I am back at it. By the way I really appreciated your comment on my post today! xo

    3. Just read whole post again and am shaking with laughter. Must go to bed now...