"Me sick. [L-boy]. got. a. tum-me. ache."
(He doesn't call himself L-boy, but he does refer to himself in the third person and in the interest of completely pointless anonymity - seeing as though I'm linked with FB and I've slipped up a million times already - I'm keeping his awesome name a secret.)
When I hear something like this ('Me sick!') come out of one of my kids' mouths I listen. I've learned this the hard way (see Happy Barrf Day!)
He's been crying wolf, though, for three nights. Even after the embarrassment of Barrfday, my trust was starting to waver.
"Need buck-kit!" He'd wail then proceed to stick his head in it and do a fake chokey thing. God knows when he learned this. His memory is awesome though.
I know all mum's think this about their own kid; she is sooooo smart'. We're not wrong, and it's not because we're biased - which we are that too. It's because we're gormless (English word meaning stupid). And intelligence (like time) is relative.
I'm just a lot stupider these days and his smarts are on a par with my own. (Okay, I admit it, he's quicker). This is why ALL mommas believe that their kids are geniuses.
L-boy is different though. He really is a genius.
Yesterday I made the boys a milkshake in the blender. (I'll give you the recipe if you like; it was two ripe bananas and a huge splosh of full cream milk). I climbed up on a chair and pulled down the once popular 'smoothie making' appliance from the top shelf and washed off the lovely layer of grease and fluff.
The last time I used it was a loooong time ago; I blended up chicken and vegetable broth because the kids were just spooning in the liquid and leaving all their vittles Anyway, when I handed L-boy his smoothie he looked at me and asked,
"Chicken soup, Mommeeee?"
I had to really think where he was going with that. Then the penny dropped. I told Daddy, who stared at me blankly for a while... then his penny dropped (baby brain or no, I can still run rings around Daddy).
Back to L-boy and his bucket. Today the little faker has been getting to puke his guts up into a bucket for real. Oh, and he had the shits too...
What's the worst thing that happened to you today? That's nice. I accidentally poured the liquid poo contents of my my son's diaper onto the living room carpet. Outstanding Momma!
He was still happy then. He's always been a happyish sick kid. It takes a lot to bring him down. He didn't feel proper crap until he puked while he was asleep at nap time. Scary, I know. He was tilted up in his stroller so the puke was all down his front. Phew.
I'd almost fallen asleep with Baby D, when he cried out.
When I picked him up I smelled first, then saw, the diarrhea pooled in the seams of the stroller. Ughh!!
His back was covered, and the diaper I'd put him in for nap time was leaking, front, back and sides.
I bathed him and wrapped him in a towel burrito and rocked him. He'd scuppered my nap, but the timing couldn't have been better. Both baby and big kid were sleeping so I had time to lavish love on my poorly little fella. And he really needed it.
He smiled, and repeated 'Mommeeee' over and over tucking his head into my neck. He's such a little lover. Eventually he felt well enough to gnaw on a cracker and lay in front of Shitty Shitty Bang Bang on the Cars couch.
Even with all that, the little champion took himself off to the potty every single time today and he puked in his bucket (yes I'm gloating!). Last time he was sick, vomit would come splurging out without much warning in all directions (Me sick, blerrrrrggh! is how I remember it).
If Momma hadn't poured diarrhea on the carpet we could have let our hardworking Bissell have the night off.
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