I could have been on the radio. Thanks to Facebook I was probably taking a shit instead.

I just learned something new about Facebook - and I bet some of y'all out there have no clue about this either.

You have a secret message box on your account known as 'other'.

A friend of a friend of mine is toying with the idea of throwing a Passion Shindig, so my friend gave me her name (have I told you I'm doing Passion Parties, yet?) Only, without a number or an email address the only way to contact this lady was by stalking my buddy's page and taking it upon myself to friend her.

But that's a little cheeky, no? It just seems sort of presumptuous of me to try and 'friend' a lady who I've never even said 'howdy' to (not that I've lived in Texas long enough to pull off a 'howdy' but you get my drift).

So I tried to send her a private message instead, but Facebook wanted a dollar from me for this privilege  

$1.00!!! What do they think I am - made of money?!

I decided to save my buck - it's the principle of the thing - and be presumptuous instead. 

Then I realized that Facebook does give me the option to send a FREE message to her 'other' box. What's this you say Facebook? I have an 'other' box? 

Does anybody out there know this 'other' box exists? My plan was to say a free 'howdy' to my friend of a friend there - but I since got pissed off with facebook then majorly distracted and ended up blogging about it all instead...

And anyway, what's the point in leaving a message in the 'other' box if (like me) she doesn't know of its existence (assuming she's as big a Facebook numpty as I am...)?

Of course after the cogs have been turning for a minute or two I get to thinking, 'hey...! I wonder if I have any messages in my 'other' box?'

So I go and check it out, and would you believe it? There are 8 unread messages in my other box. 

Wahoo!!! It's like finding an unopened Christmas prezzie under the tree on Boxing Day. Or not.

I decide to see what interactions I've missed out on over the unknown time Facebook has had this obscure hidden message system in place - not a too shabby activity for a Sunday night - and this is what I find:

Jan 9th, 2013

Some will tell you that you are so beautiful,but I will tell you;that you are a goddess, a clear perfection of God's own architectural skill and finally a treasure to be treasured?

can we get to know each other to see where we will get to?

Hope to read from you soon.

Have a lovely day

Not too heartbroken about missing that one. On with the show..............

Oct 26th, 2011

Your blog was recently emailed to me and I had a chance to read your post "Shame on Momma" which was hilarious! I would love to feature you on my radio show called Messy Moms Radio. You would be named the Messiest Mom Of The Week for next week and we would invite you to call into the show on Tuesday the 30th. If this sounds like a good idea to you please email me @ messymomsradio@gmail.com.

Well, crap.

I couldn't go on anymore. 

I'm currently attempting to blog this one out of my system.  

See, a bloggy friend of mine - who is absolutely hilarious - was only just featured on said radio show last week, and I was so envious of her getting this gig! Very chuffed for her too - but oh so frigging jealous at the same time..(you know who you are Kristi Campbell!)

Bugger. 

I totally missed the boat on that one. 

Facebook and your dipshit dollar charge, you have deprived me of what could have been my BIG BREAK.

"I could have been a contender George!"

Here I've been, wallowing in blogger pity-me-ville, watching all my blog-peers pass me by, and wondering why I'm not being featured or published in any of these fancy radio shows or web-sites - or books even! 

I've been so damn near close to jacking it in to concentrate on my new business (ad)venture. 

If only I'd gotten this message last October...

Ahh - whatever! It's probably for the best. None of their listeners would have understood a word I said with my dodgy Brit-Texan hybrid accent. And I'm way too inappropriate for radio. I probably would have giggled like a schoolgirl and cussed and made a lewd comment or two - and they would have had to edit or bleep most of my foul-mouthed &%$%#&%$$* out.

*Sigh.*

Who am I kidding? Making a total tit of myself on some Messy Moms radio show would have been pretty frigging cool. At least I can say I got asked.